I can't decide which is worse:
Remembering at 7:01 that "Firefly" is on at 6 pm, or
Finding that there's actually a program called "Competitive Eating" on ESPN (the Sports Network)... sample commentary: "it appears he's using the marinara as a lubricant to aid in eating"... oh god... there's a skinny lady talking about competitive eating, and she and her husband travel and compete on the circuit together... there's a CIRCUIT??? commentary again: "She's got one of the fastest swallows, right out of the gate..." the lady jumps up and down at one point, and the commentary: "there's the Carlene bop; she's trying to get the food to settle down to the bottom of her stomache..."
I think I'm going to be ill.
(BTW, in case you can't tell, it's a spaghetti eating contest... "The Alka-Seltzer US Open")